Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
