i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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