I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
