ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
