OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
