I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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