Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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