Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
