She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
