i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
