Capitaan dildo arrescate!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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