At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
