sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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