i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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