I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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