ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
