Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the day after is always just damage control
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
