Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
