I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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