dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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