I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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