you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she was so not down for the gang bang
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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