just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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