I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
