I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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