you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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