Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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