UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
