Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
