Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
