Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
