Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
