Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
