do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
