ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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