im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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