so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
