After last night, I could never be a politician.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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