She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
