Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
