I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
