I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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