R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so let's talk penis.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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