Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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