wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
