We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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