Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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