new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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