What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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