Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
