I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
