Do you still have your period?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
