she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
