just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
